Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.
Here’s our list from today:
1 Femi Fani-Kayode
Twitter Nigeria has been blowing up all day over Ibe Kachikwu’s leaked memo. Last night, we saw in part that Kachikwu, the Minister of State for Petroleum Resources, had tried and failed to meet with his boss, Buhari, the Minister of Petroleum and so had to write a letter explaining the difficulties, not to mention disrespect he’s suffered at the hands of the Group Managing Director of NNPC, Dr Baru.
Political Twitter quickly cautioned Mr Kachikwu of the consequences of his unpopular action. PDP stalwart, Fani-Kayode did not mince words with his 280-character tweets.
See below:
Why is Ibe Kachikwu, the Min. of State for Petroleum Resources, surprised that he has not been granted access to @MBuhari and that the northern MD of NNPC is undermining him? Did he expect it to be any different? Has he forgotten he is Igbo? To Buhari ALL southerners are slaves.
— Femi Fani-Kayode (@realFFK) October 4, 2017
Ibe Kachikwu does not appreciate the fact that to @MBuhari and his tiny cabal of ethnic supremacists pillaging 26 billion USD from the Northern (sorry "Nigerian") National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) is nothing.Where else do up expect him to get the funds for his 2019 campaign?
— Femi Fani-Kayode (@realFFK) October 4, 2017
2. Aisha Yesufu
The relentless BBOG activist held forth for Kachikwu on the matter of his inability to arrange a meeting with Mr President. She said Mr President did not want to meet Kachikwu, his next in command in the petroleum industry. She also said Buhari is playing at president. She practically flailed the president alive in this thread, you’d wish you were never a Nigerian.
3. Gidimeister
So the real gist Twitter Nigeria has been interested in is that as substantive Minister for Petroleum, Buhari’s corporation is engulfed in a 25 billion naira scandal. What does the EFCC have to say to this? Gidimeister knows what to say to this:
The Minister of State for Petroleum is alleging that the GMD of NNPC unilaterally awarded contracts worth more than Nigeria's 2017 budget?
— Gidimeister (@Gidimeister) October 4, 2017
As far as Gege is concerned…
Buhari knows why Baru was sent to the NNPC. All the talk about Buhari not knowing is hogwash…..he is a professional hypocrite…….
— Gege (@nigeriasbest) October 4, 2017
4. Ade
President Buhari rode into power on super powered anti-corruption coattails. With every allegation of corruption in his cabinet, Mr President has adopted a mostly deaf and dumb stance. According to Ade, it’s telling of his so-called anti-corruption drive:
Buhari's Anti-Corruption deal breakers with Nigerians
1. Ex-SGF, Babachir Lawal
2. Ibe Kachikwu's allegations on NNPC GMD
Note them.
— Banky (@AdeBanqie) October 4, 2017
Buhari MUST work out his Anti-Corruption SALVATION with FEAR and TREMBLING knowing that they are a LEGION that seeks to DISGRACE him.
— Banky (@AdeBanqie) October 4, 2017
5. Adetutu Balogun
Adetutu just wants to know:
As $26B scandal is rocking NNPC under PMB,
deserve to know how NNPC got this mess under him as Petroleum Minister?#KachikwuAllegations http://pic.twitter.com/9KvX7X6GDm
— Adetutu Balogun (@Tutsy22) October 4, 2017
Fresh $26 billion contract award crisis hits Baru’s NNPC ~ NigeriaWitness
Me: Who's Petroleum Minister again?
I really don't know.— KolaDiamondLawal (@naijateddy) October 4, 2017
Who is the petroleum minister now that fraudulent $26 billion contract award scandal is rocking the NNPC?
— King Alfred (@KingDouyeAlfred) October 4, 2017
It's starts B and U then H and A ends with an R I… https://t.co/W2j7vo14ym
— Ibia (@Ogisa_) October 4, 2017
@FMac_Mayor explains the implication of Buhari’s 97% vs 3% politics
The height of confusion is when you vote in a nepotist and expect him to fight corruption. Nepotism is a fertile ground for corruption!
— L'Capitan (@FMac_Mayor) October 4, 2017
@i_am_Anomeli points us back to Buhari’s past.
PMB has a history of financial scandals at the Petroleum Industry
Commissioner for Petroleum – N2b
PTF Chairman – N25bn
Min for Pet – $26bn— Igala_Alan_Shore (@i_am_Anomeli) October 4, 2017
Oh, and there’s always time for shade.
Omojuwa & other 'non partisan good governance activist' are ignoring the grand corruption in NNPC
— Kingsley (@kingysly_01) October 4, 2017
6. Feyi Fawehinmi
Feyi has been a staunch critic of the NNPC. In order to bring “sanity” to the embattled corporation, Feyi has, therefore, vowed to do this:
When I seize power, members of the public will be cordially invited to public execution of NNPC Staff. That day becomes new Independence Day
— tyro (@DoubleEph) October 4, 2017
Mark his words.
7. @segalink believes TwitterNG is crying wolf over these issues.
Why do we always expect to make a Choice and hope to escape the consequences of choice?
— SEGA L'éveilleur® (@segalink) October 4, 2017
8. Cheta Nwanze ft Demola Olarewaju
Cheta brought Twitter’s attention to this incident:
I was on air discussing the #AsabaMassacre on this show, & a call came from the NBC.
"Shut the show down."
I've been kicked off the air. https://t.co/BTIX4aOE9G
— Chxta (@Chxta) October 4, 2017
It seems Buhari’s presidency has taken a really scary turn. TwitterNG has settled in for the rest of Buhari’s military regime.
There’s literally no joy on these streets.
9. Jasper Jaja
Because everything that happens in a day is not strictly political, we have to move on to Jaja’s story. We’re not sure which part is funnier: that he was approached or that he actually wanted to dump his meal. See below:
Someone walks into where I’m having my lunch, sits beside me, and to my utter amazement, asks me to pay for his lunch.
FUNKEEEEEEEE!
— Uncle Jaj. (@JajaPhD) October 4, 2017
Reactions:
When your cologne is smelling like dollars. https://t.co/iGSFcKIHV8
— Lekan (@LekanAJ) October 4, 2017
Village people at werk
https://t.co/ZgnKfP87fJ
— Larryzone (@Iam_larryzone) October 4, 2017
**********Commercial break*******
When your in school, broke & out of food stuff, only for you to check your store unit & find one full carton of Indomie is still available. http://pic.twitter.com/pzoFbzAkE8
— Gaga
***************************
10. Yewande
All we are going to say is this thing can pain….
I write a letter to you, and sign my name as Yewande. You send in a reply and address me as Yetunde. Is it that you can't read?
— Bíbíire ò ṣé fowó rà (@yew1e) October 4, 2017
People call me any version of my name they feel like. Mary, MaryAnn, Maria, Miriam, then MaryJane. Then a client refers to me as Sir.
— Ayaa Oba-Rohkea
(@Ms_Mariaah) October 4, 2017
Kai. Just imagine
— Bíbíire ò ṣé fowó rà (@yew1e) October 4, 2017
Have you ever been called back by invigilators after submitting your exam paper, to ask if you're Namibian? No? Not yet??
— Nor (@NoreLaLa) October 4, 2017
So sorry about that, Yemisi. I don't know what's wrong with people. https://t.co/6hbv2Mj3YJ
— M14E (@knightofdelta) October 4, 2017
LMAO.
Read » Today’s Noisemakers: Femi Fani-Kayode, Cheta Nwanze, Aisha Yesufu and others on YNaija
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