It’s been rumoured that Nigerian women (or black women, in general) prefer to marry white men because their children will have great hair and that golden, beautiful mixed complexion. Really, to each his own. However, beyond good looks, racism is such a pervasive and persistent phenomenon abroad that every person marrying outside his or her race will be forced to confront it on a larger scale. That’s because while it’s one thing to be single and black, bringing kids -mixed kids- into the picture throws up a whole other dilemma entirely.
That’s what Chike Unigwe found out.
Here’s her story:
when i was getting married, my dad asked if I'd thought seriously about raising biracial kids.
— chika unigwe (@chikaunigwe) October 9, 2017
I looked to America to provide me with story books with biracial protagonists (Belgium had none , and yes I could have written it)
— chika unigwe (@chikaunigwe) October 9, 2017
Son #2 tells me at 8 (?)that there's a new girl in his class.I ask 'Is she beautiful?" He goes Dah! She's blond! I say,That tells me nothing
— chika unigwe (@chikaunigwe) October 9, 2017
I tell him how I prefer dark hair like his, and esp. on pale skin. Years later he remembers our talk and how it made him feel. Surrounded by
— chika unigwe (@chikaunigwe) October 9, 2017
whiteness, and being a kid, he hadn't questioned the veracity of the blond = beauty equation. Ironically, #2 feels more Naija than mixed
— chika unigwe (@chikaunigwe) October 9, 2017
and told a family he met at school that he recognized the accent of "my people':)
— chika unigwe (@chikaunigwe) October 9, 2017
#1 only told me recently the extent of how he was taunted/bullied for being black in a white space in elementary school
— chika unigwe (@chikaunigwe) October 9, 2017
I've heard from #2 how kids making fun of my name felt like a personal affront
— chika unigwe (@chikaunigwe) October 9, 2017
and now adjusting to living in the US (#4 says "dude" and "awesome" all the time now:)
— chika unigwe (@chikaunigwe) October 9, 2017
Raising them taught me to be nuanced in how I talk about race, whiteness and blackness. For that, I am grateful
— chika unigwe (@chikaunigwe) October 9, 2017
and now, I'm going to do some laundry #procrastinating
— chika unigwe (@chikaunigwe) October 9, 2017
Read » The Thread: The challenges of raising biracial children on YNaija
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