The worst type of relationship break-up, according to science…

Breaking up is never easy, but it turns out that a certain type of break-up is particularly heart-breaking for the person on the receiving end.

Findings

Scientists have found that being rejected in favour of someone else is far more difficult for people to deal with than simply being rejected – and as anyone who has been dumped for a new love can testify, feeling like you’re second best is pretty damn horrible.

The study was conducted by Cornell University in the UK, and published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

The experiment

Researchers used four experiments to look at two types of rejection, one where there was a third person involved, and one where there was no one else, and found that the former stung much more for the 600 participants in the study.

As well as measuring the feelings of those who were rejected when asked to complete a puzzle with a partner, the scientists also asked subjects to imagine being spurned in various scenarios, and consistently found that the idea of being dumped for someone else was more painful than simply being rejected.

‘Even the luckiest among us will not be chosen for some jobs, dates or friendships that we want,’ the authors write in their paper. ‘And while nobody likes to be rejected, these rejections vary and some feel worse than others.’

What to do

According to Time, the findings suggest some practical advice for anyone who is faced with rejecting someone, but wants to minimise hurt – namely, make it clear there is no one else involved, if that is the case.

If that’s not the case, ‘references to other parties chosen over the rejectees should be kept to a minimum.’

‘There is no way to totally avoid rejection in life,’ the authors conclude. But next time you’re passed over when there’s no one else, ‘we might now at least acknowledge it is the lesser of two evils.’

From: Good Housekeeping UK

Photo: iStock/cyano66