Exploring your sex life with the aid of toys is definitely a way to go. Here are things to know about sex shop staff.
Sex shops are not so popular in Nigeria but we cannot deny they exist and people often go there. As people get more comfortable with their sexuality, these stores will become more popular, when that happens, it’s good to know how to conduct yourself when you get there.
For pretty conservative people, when you walk into such a store, you’re surrounded with things that might make you very uncomfortable, the people you meet there are usually experts in these regards, sex shop workers are very open minded and intelligent, who are ready to help you with your sexual life but you need to also know how to approach these topics.
Krissy Brady, Women’s Health compiled a list of 9 things you have to keep in mind about sex shop employees.
1. Sex shops are safe places to express yourself
These places are not your stores that sells items for everyone, sort of all one size that everyone can use, these are more specialized stores that can customize solutions to different people. "I got into the field because when I was researching sexual fantasies, I found that women didn't feel comfortable expressing their interests—partly because they didn't know what their interests were or they were concerned about looking like 'sluts' if they did," says Veronica Kazoleas, the owner of The Nookie in Toronto, Ontario and also a social psychologist.
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2. They’re very qualified
To stand in that positions means they’ve got certain training to deal with people and their needs. “Sure, they sell sex-related swag, but working in a sex shop is no different than working in other retail establishments. Like any other sales job, they have to have certain credentials (such as an associates degree) and are trained to work in the store” says Dionne Morrison, owner of BABA’S. They’re there to help. "My favorite part of the job is when people come in with concerns, like painful sex or vaginal dryness, and leave with products and information that will help them enjoy sex again," says Kazoleas.
3. Don’t be nervous or ashamed
A sex shop isn’t a place where you get judged, the store is where you’re encouraged to speak about what your sexuality is. Those fantasies that you're kind of embarrassed about (but shouldn't be) are more common than you might think, says Kazoleas. A study conducted in 2015 was published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that sexual interests considered taboos are sometime normal. For instance, researchers polled 1,516 Canadians, and found out that 65% of women have fantasized about being dominated sexually, 44% of men have also fantasized about being spanked or whipped by their partner.
4. Lubes are for everyone
They’re not just for people who don’t get aroused easily, they are for everyone. "A lot of female customers think that needing lube makes them less womanly, or they're concerned that their male partner will feel inadequate if they need lube to get slippery for sex," says Kazoleas. It is believed that a woman’s wetness can vary on how turned on she is, and this can be messed up due to several factors such as pregnancy, hormone fluctuation and even antidepressant. "Even naturally wet women can reach orgasm faster with lube," says Kazoleas. "Plus, lube reduces the risk of condom failure."
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5. They’ve see crazy things, and continue to
Being in that store alone will make them see and hear crazy things, so you case is probably not the worst they’ve seen or heard. Remember how I said, they’re very knowledgeable about these things. They’re there to help you, their sex life might even be randier than yours. "One man came in wanting to show us his erect penis as proof of how the product he bought worked," says Morrison.
6. Stop asking this question
Naturally, when buying stuff, you may ask the store clerk what product they personally enjoy the most. That’s fine for a clothing or shoe store, not for a sex store. Even if they answered that question, their best product might not work well for you, due to personal preference thing. "Everyone is different and is turned on by different things," says Stacy Rybchin, founder and CEO of My Secret Luxury in Connecticut. "Just because I love a toy doesn't mean that the customer will love it, too. We want to help you find what works best for you—not for us."
7. They’re not prostitute
Just because they work at a sex store doesn’t mean they want to have sex with you. "I know several educators have been propositioned for sex by female and male clients," says Rybchin.
8. Shop for sex toy instore
If you’re one person who is shy of going into the store to buy sex toys, and you do it online. You might be sorely disappointed because after the consultation with the sex shop representative, you might change your mind to something better. Also feel and touch is quite important to the buying decision. "You may pay a little more than you would online, but you'll gain knowledge, confidence, and likely end up with a better product," says Kazoleas.
One way to tell if you're in a reputable, sex-positive establishment is if the shop is organized using gender-neutral categories, says Kazoleas.
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9. They cannot answer it all
Despite their immense knowledge of sex toys, they certainly do not know all of the answers to the questions. "We can only help you to a certain extent," says Rybchin.
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