By Bunmi Sofola
TENSION headache? Jangled nerves? If that’s how you feel at the end of the working day you may be suffering from a syndrome which plagues nearly all offices—Difficult People(DP). You know the type. It’s usually the autocratic boss who barks orders, demands blind obedience and whose door is firmly closed to suggestions or queries.
But there are other DPs who can turn the working day into a nightmare. The backstabber, the tight-lip, the know-all, the fault-finder, the delayer and the downer all have their place in the modern office set-up. But what the colleagues of Difficult People don’t realise is that they are dealing with a blip in the evolutionary process. In fact, DPs’ brains haven’t evolved since prehistoric times, says organisational psychologist, Albert J. Bernstein.
The behaviour of these throwbacks costs companies money by leading to absenteeism, lateness and inefficiency—but these days, the problem of DPs is being tackled in a series of seminars worldwide.
Large companies, councils, police and health authorities have all sent delegates to find out how to handle DPs. “Between 10 and 20 per cent of the population are Difficult People,” says Dan Kline of Career Track, which organises some of the seminars. “Study after study in the US has indicated that 70 or 80 per cent of problems in organisations are based on misunderstandings.” Bernstein’s book: Dinosaur Brains suggests that DPs are driven by more than misunderstandings —he says they are in fact, driven by the same basic instincts which ruled the lives of the dinosaurs 65 million years ago.
“As a psychologist, I have realised that humans don’t always act like humans,” he says; “One minute they’re normal, rational people, the next they’re little better than reptiles. Trouble comes when they use the Reptile Response —their primitive thinking patterns – instead of the rational part of their brain.”
This apparently explains why our days can be made a misery by the power-mad boss, the time-wasting office romeo and the empire-building rival… to say nothing of the whingers. Bernstein’s theory is that two areas of the brain are continually fighting to take control.
One is the cortex, the centre of thinking and logic, which keeps us rational, organised and businesslike. The other is a primitive hotch-potch which Bernstein dubs the Dinosaur Brain.
“It is our source of instructions for handling instincts and emotions as old as the dinosaurs—aggression and anger, mating, territoriality and fear, social hierarchy and loyalty,” he says. “If you think this sounds more like a struggle for survival in the primeval forest than life among the yucca plants of an air-conditioned office, you are well on the way to understanding why so many of your colleagues drive you wild.”
According to Bernstein, the Dinosaur Brain operates on seven rules of Lizard Logic which ran the world of tyran-nosaurus rex and still apply in today’s corporate jungle. To deal with the reptiles in your office he advised we follow these seven golden rules.
Rule 1: Be Dominant —Reptiles love social hierarchies and are always getting into power struggles to prove that they are the top dinosaur. “The way to deal with power-hungry lizards is simple— don’t engage them in a dominance fight,” advises Bernstein. “Let them talk louder, interrupt or sit at the commanding place at the table. Let them use their power stares. Just realise what is going on and don’t give in to them on important issues.”
Rule 2:Do It Now—The impulsive urge to do things now is a kneejerk response rooted in the instant action required to survive attacks by predators. “Dinosaur Brain managers are always putting out brushfires and never finding time for long-term planning,” says Bernstein. “Their arousal systems are going full-time, producing chaos for co-workers, not to mention stress-related symptoms such as ulcers, headaches, insomnia and maybe, excessive smoking or drinking. “If you work with impulsive people, deal with them gently. Tell them their strong points, and gently let them know their weak points. “Impulsive people tend to talk rapidly and make it hard for you to get a word in. If you want them to notice you, start out by speaking as loudly and quickly as they do. Then adjust your pacing to slower and softer.”
Rule 3:Defend Yourself—Infringe a dinosaur’s territory and his hackles will rise instantly. He will do anything to scare off or destroy the intruder. “If someone defends their territory fiercely then back off and speak from the figurative boundary line,” says Bernstein. “Use the channels that the lizard has decreed are appropriate. Write a memo, make a phone call, set up a meeting, whatever is the proper way to gain access to the territory. If you try to sneak in the back door, you might accomplish your immediate goal but the lizard will be more difficult to deal with:
Rule 4: Get A Mate— The mating instinct is the powerful force which draws together the unlikeliest of partners in passionate office romances. “The season comes to a distant rainforest and the giant dinosaur seeks a mate. He preens, puffs and parades before the females until he finds one who is receptive,. He singles her out from the herd and they begin the intricate dance of courtship. Their tiny brains shut out all thoughts except each other,” says Bernstein. “The only thing to do is stand back and watch the
earth move.”
Rule 5: Fight Back – When the dinosaurs in your office turn threatening, your instincts will tell you to fight, run or freeze. To avoid being trampled: Stop, think, and use lizard logic. “If your Dinosaur Brain is always screaming, ‘Fight, fight, fight’, ask yourself, ‘What do 1 win if 1 compete in this situation, and is what 1 would win important to me? Is it important
enough to risk the animosity of the person I’m competing with’,” advises Bernstein. “If you are an avoider you have to set priorities and stick to them. If there is a hard way and an easy way, take the hard way. “Recognise your internal voice trying to talk you into running away. Talk back. “If you are afraid of something, force yourself to approach it. It will be scary at first but the more you practise the easier it will become. The more you say, ‘I can’t’, the more it becomes true. Look instead for what you can do within the situation and build on that.”
Rule6:Show Pain – DINOSAURS were very vocal about their pain, which served to warn the herd about danger or to summon aid, says Bernstein. Therefore it is wise to listen out for the roars of their modern counterparts.
The trouble is that today’s monsters are mostly the architects of their own misery…but don’t realise it. The dinosaur never sees himself as the source of any of his troubles. Whenever something goes wrong, he has two responses – to complain or to blame other people,” says Bernstein. “When you’re surrounded by a crowd of people who are screaming, yelling and demanding some body’s head, just sit there quietly. This response is much more thought-out and creative than simply agreeing with them. “‘Whatever
someone complains about, brings up a good point. This might get the complainer to s 0 and think, and it’s also a good way of covering you tail. “People who remember the situation at a later date might see you as the only one who didn’t lose his or her head. You might even be considered the leader when everyone has calmed down.”
Rule 7: Keep Cool- The world is divided into two categories for dinosaurs -good and evil, says Bernstein. “Good, of course, means people like them. Often decisions that should be made on the merits of a case are made instead on moral judgments. Trying to shift someone from their prejudices usually has the same success rate as wrestling with a tiger. All you can do is try to tame your own tendency towards unfair bias, he says. Finally, here’s how to spot the Dinosaur Brains in your office … They give themselves away by using emotional statements rather than arguing logically. If a colleague begins a conversation with any of the openers below you’ll know it’s Dinosaur time:
“l want to tell you my real feelings… “
“You always…”
You never …
“We all feel…”
“Why wasn’t I consulted about…?”
“How come some people are allowed to…”
“I thought I was in charge…”
“In the good old days…”
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